Does This Gift come with a receipt???

So where did we leave off?  Oh that’s right sharing my secret with the world. =0 How do you tell all these people who have known you for all these years that oh btw dead people talk to me…now!  WHAAAT?!  Yeah that was gonna take a while.  So I decide, ya know what, if God gave me this gift, it must be for a reason, so let’s roll with it.  I book a couple of readings as Pat suggested.  Practice makes perfect ya know!! I start small with friends of family members that I had never met and knew nothing about.  So I’m not gonna lie to you the first couple of readings I completely bombed!!  Have any of you seen that Theresa Caputo SNL skit, “so who choked on the meatball parm?” Yeah it went something like that!  All the while thinking to myself, I thought I had a gift, what is going on???  Well ladies and gents, what was going on was an introduction to my EGO.  That’s right its in capital letters because it is a very prominent and challenging part of each and every one of us.  I revisit the basics of what Pat had originally taught me.  There is no faith in fear.  I will say it again, there is no faith in fear.  Those 2 words really don’t even belong in the same sentence!  So essentially I was so afraid of being wrong, I was preventing myself from being right.  So concerned about what the person in front of me would be thinking if perhaps they said “no” to something I said.  They will think I’m lying, I don’t have a gift, and I have no business saying I do right!  WRONG!  These were all self-serving egotistical thoughts, totally opposite of everything spirit ever made me feel.  Ya see spirit makes you feel like someone is wrapping a warm blanket around you in the middle of a snowstorm.  It comes from a love so deep we tend to overlook it everyday.  Yup…that’s where I needed to get back to!  And I did.  Everytime I did a reading I would meditate and ask my spirit guides to bring me to that place.  I had total faith that spirit would be there and would trust that I could relay there messages with the utmost clarity.  I brought myself back to why I was pursuing this in the first place.  Because I wanted to share that amazing warm blanket with every person that sat in front of me!  I started booking clients every Friday night, and sometimes Saturdays too.  The more I did the more clear I got.  Communicating with spirit is much like learning a different language.  So in order for me to learn my signs and symbols it was like trial and error.  I would sit with my clients and go over the reading after the fact to sort out the details and have them fill in the blanks so that I could learn.  For instance, if I see an American flag, I now know that spirit is telling me they were in the military.  If I see balloons, I know they want to acknowledge an anniversary or a birthday and so on and so forth. 

So my guess is, ya wanna hear some spirit stories right?!!  So I would tell my clients to tell me nothing about them, that way anything I would see, hear, or feel, I would trust was of purity, and not something I could’ve ever known!  Trust me it’s a lot more challenging to read someone that ya know.  Let’s just say spirit needs to get creative!  I remember doing a reading for a young girl who had lost a family friend at a very young age.  She showed herself to me the age she would’ve been had she still been alive.  She talked about her mom, her dad, described her room, her interests, and gave all these wonderful details to validate who she was.  Then the message…that she was happy, she was ok, and she was still with all of them!  So what you need to understand is while the message is the warm blanket, the validation is what makes us believe in the message.  It’s like meat and potatoes to us irish folk.  You just can’t have one without the other, its just not the same.  Are ya feeling me yet?

So a little over a year ago I slowly began to share my secret with more people.  The more I felt comfortable with my gift, the less I cared that others might judge me. After all we have all experienced spirit at some time in our lives to some degree, there is no denying!  Every reading I did my clients were filled with questions and curiosity.  So I will share with you exactly what I told them.  I am not special!!  Every person has the ability to connect with spirit! Huh?  That’s right, every person can connect with spirit.  It’s like learning how to play an instrument.  Anyone can take piano lessons and learn to play right?  Some will be better than others, why?  Maybe the time they put into it, maybe a natural talent they were born to do, who knows!  Connecting with spirit is the same.  We can all do it, just to varying degrees and abilities.  The necessary tools…an open mind, an open heart, and open eyes. 

Sounds wonderful, glorious, perfect right, that’s what I was thinking too! Until one night I see an image of a girl.  An image in no way I was ever expecting to see.  An image of a young girl that I knew had ended her own life.  She was scared and confused and asking for me to help her!  What, me? Who, wait What??? Is this part of the deal?  So never having experienced this before, feeling quite uncertain and scared, I seek guidance from Pat. “I don’t know if I can do this, is this part of the deal”.  No sugar coating, she replied, yup this is part of the deal.   So what do I do, how do I help?  You pray, she said, you pray.  Are you making the connection yet?  Faith…fear?  Here it was right in front of me.  So that’s what I did, I prayed to Archangel Michael and guess what…it worked!!  Amazing, right?  I later found out who that girl was when my sister found her obituary online and we were able to validate the information she gave me when she came to me.   Her funeral was taking place at my church which is about 1/4 mile from my house that same day.   Cray, cray right!!!  I know!!  What played in my mind, how is this real, why would she come to me,  and did this gift come with a receipt, cuz I might need to make a return!!!

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How it began…

So why a blog?..Many of you that are close to me know that my life has changed dramatically in the past 2 years.  I see the world through different eyes.  The many questions that race through my mind on a daily basis are why me, why now, and of course how can this be real??  Still I haven’t got a clue, but what I do know is that everything is for a reason, and it absolutely is real!  With every inch of my being the girl who is has always been so quiet, feels compelled to share my stories that have made my life so incredibly splendid.  Maybe I can help to answer the many questions people ask me everyday, maybe I can satisfy the curiosity that I see in the eyes of the people I encounter everyday…what is being a medium really all about? You are about to find out!

So let’s rewind to my teenage years.  My first encounter with spirit that I can recall was when I was about 16 years old.  I vividly remember seeing “people” in my room in the middle of the night.   Scared was an understatement.  I would describe to my family what they looked like, what they were wearing, etc.  Most of the time the popular response was, well you were probably half asleep and still dreaming!  Dreaming…of an old lady in a sweat suit?  Seriously? Nope, I knew I wasn’t dreaming, but I also had no interest in ghost hunting.  Many of my siblings had also experienced what would be considered in today’s day and age as “paranormal activity” in our childhood home.  So we chalked it up to growing up in a haunted house and went on with life as usual (LOL).  Now lets fast forward.  In my twenties I graduate from nursing school, get married to my highschool sweetheart, have children, and move into the home my husband grew up in.  All the good stuff, right, totally complete, happy and fulfilled, or so I thought!

So I’m 35 years old and all of a sudden things start to change.  My home where I had felt so peaceful for the last 7 years became a lot less peaceful.  I remember often waking up in the middle of the night hysterical that I was seeing things, apparently things that my poor husband couldn’t see.  Nightmares, right!   One night I vividly remember watching a man walk from the doorway of one of my children’s bedroom into my other child’s room. I didn’t understand what was going on.  What had changed.   So I set up a video camera on my dresser for a week straight so my husband could see what I was seeing.  Guess what I caught on video…nothing!!  I started to get to the point where I was actually afraid to be in my home alone at certain times.  Not a great feeling.  And I most certainly felt crazy because I was the only one experiencing what was going on.  This went on for about 6 months.

So where are we going with this right?  So one day I’m getting ready for work in my bathroom.  All of a sudden someone pops into my head, not unusual, happens to us all right?  But this time it was my uncle Butch, whom had died 2 years prior.  Hmmm, that’s weird right, I wasn’t even thinking about him today.  Then I started to see images, almost as though a movie was being played for me.  But this was not a movie I had ever seen, so where were these pictures coming from.  Not from my memory?Not only could I see him, I could hear him, but not in a voice like you would hear a person speaking, just words flowing into my head, but a knowing of what he was trying to say.  A knowing and a feeling that brought me to my knees.  I started to think to myself, I think he is talking to me??  And I could hear him saying, she can hear me!!!!  It was that moment that my life would change forever!!

Of course I told no one of my experience, because being a nurse and what I considered a pretty rational minded person, I certainly would have been deemed insane!  So I thought we’ll just keep this one to myself.  Not knowing how to explain my experience, or what I was actually supposed to do with the information I received, I became thirsty for knowledge. I knew there was a 50% chance I was crazy and a 50% chance I wasn’t.  Ok so maybe 60/40.   Knowledge is power right. So I started reading every book I could about spirit communication.  I had been to local mediums before years prior, some impressive, some not.  This made it crucial for me to seek information in reputable places.  I went to Barnes and Noble and looked thru tons of books.  I picked one up by John Holland, I put it back, I picked it up again.  One chapter in there was a line in that book that was nearly to a tee something that my uncle had said to me!  It was like a feeling of deja vu, like someone letting me know I was on the right track.  So I continued to read books by Van Pragh, Lisa Williams, and John Edwards.  I decide to go onto Lisa Williams website and listen to one of her radio shows called “meet your spirit guide”.  All these mediums talk about meditation and I’m like this is never gonna work, but why not.  So she does a guided meditation, walks me through a scenario and when I open the door there is supposed to be someone standing there, yup ok.  Well guess what, to my surprise there really was someone standing behind that door.  I can describe him to a tee.  He introduced himself to me, he is my spirit guide.  And he has been with me everyday since!  Crazy right, I know, I still wasn’t buying it either!

So finally I get the courage to share what’s been going on with my sisters and my husband =0.  My husband looked at me like, oh no my wife is losing it lol!  I get it hon, I’m telling you there is a pink elephant in our back yard that you don’t see right! My sisters being a little more open minded saddled up and said let’s figure this out together! Soon everyday I would feel spirit trying to communicate with me, just like that day.  So what does it feel like when spirit is trying to communicate exactly?  Well it differs depending on the spirit, but I will tell you quite often my heart races, and I feel quite anxious.  Pretty common right!  So my sister calls me one day and asks me if I’ve ever heard of the Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo.  I go onto you tube and watch some reruns.  Instantly I feel a connection to how she describes her experiences with spirit.  Finally someone that knows how I feel!!  I go onto her website and she tells her story of how she found out she was a medium and that a spiritual healer helped her to learn about her gift.  Cue the lifechanging inspirational spiritual healer! Enter Pat Longo.  So I google Pat Longo who is a spiritual healer in Long Island, and send her an email on her website that goes something like this….I am 35 years old, a mother, wife, and nurse and I think I am losing my mind.  LOL! True story.  She emailed me back with her phone number and said call me!  This woman spent 2 hours on the phone with me and changed my life.  Suddenly chaos turned into order, there was meaning attached to my experiences.  Are you getting how amazing she is yet?  Pat taught me what I could do and how to do it, but ultimately the choice was mine.  Off an on for that first year, she guided me thru email, phone calls, and long distance healing sessions.  Still very few people outside my family knew what was going on with me.  While I was navigating my way on this uncertain road, I was not quite ready to share my secret with the world yet.  TBC…