The Blessed Mother speaks to us all in times of despair. She has taught me that one cannot compare his/her despair to that of another. To each his own. I like to “think” of myself as a positive person that strives to function at a high vibration in this world, but despite my efforts, I too believe I have felt despair, as have we all.
I remember a time during winter, when I just was feeling really down. Not over one particular thing in my life, but in general a feeling of sadness and lack of love all around. I had just ended my lease at my shop and took a leap of faith in trying to take my mediumship to the next level. I had felt guided to do so by spirit with a knowing that my shop was just a stepping stone that was now stunting my growth and I needed to let it go. Still, I couldn’t help, but let my ego get the best of me and question my choice. I realize now that losing my Dad the year prior was an event that had set forth a series of tests for me in motion. It led me down a road where every ounce of my faith and strength would be challenged and I would learn the true meaning of the word surrender.
I distinctly remember one cold winter day doing a moving meditation to clear the clutter in my head. So I’m listening to my music and getting my frustrations out and I feel an overwhelming sense of warmth and love come over me. Cue the Blessed Mother…kidding aside tho… I saw a vision of the Blessed Mother with her arms extended outward. Now I have seen the Blessed Mother many times in my meditations, but this was different. She was here for me this time, not helping me give a message to someone else. She tells me I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. Even this moment was part of my divine plan. My soul knew there would be a time when I would need her to come and remind me why I started this journey. She said “regrets are not for you in this life dear…but the choice is always yours. You have all that you need to keep going.” She tells me the day will come when I will “know” what she means and I will share this story. As she fades away I hear…”and so it is.” At that moment the song that comes on my playlist is Celine Dion, “A New Day has Come”! The very song I did my video to when I started this spiritual journey of mediumship 5 years ago. I jump off the treadmill and grab a pen and paper…I need to write so I don’t forget and I do! When I’m done I see a notification on my phone..my timehop is ready…I hit the button…My message from spirit exactly one year ago to that day…”God brings us to our knees to teach us in weakness, strength can be found, In prayer, hope can be reborn, with faith, we can learn to walk again”. No coincidence!! I know better now. “Ok spirit I get it”, I tell them. With a full heart and my faith restored I know I need to just keep going..each day before I put my feet on the floor I say these words…”I surrender my will to thy will” letting God know the oars to my boat are forever in his hands.
The coming months were full of adjustments in getting used to the changes and new challenges. My group sizes were bigger which meant I needed to work harder on me. More meditations, more prayer and silent reflection, keeping my vibration up, maintaining myself as a clear and pure channel for spirit to use in order to serve others. I change my diet, I begin an exercise regimen, I start going to yoga, spending more time outdoors, less time exposed to social media, television, or anything that lowers my energy vibration. All of these things guided by spirit. Still, despite all my efforts it’s an uphill battle. A time ensues when I felt like relationships with some of the closest people to me were being challenged…why now? My mind (aka my ego) wants to play the blame game and tell me..because the world kicks you when your down..but my heart and soul know better. There is a lesson in all of this for me even though I don’t see it yet…I keep going.
It wasn’t until this past week I realized I had finally reached that shifting point…I could feel it. My hard work and perserverence in the direction spirit was leading me was paying off. My business is busier than ever..I felt grounded, I felt strong, I felt clear and unstuck, I am serving others. I feel happy and whole..and most importantly I feel loved. In that time period I learned to love myself and love those around me despite the illusions of lack that were placed in my path. Spirit introduced me to a new guide in my meditation. This means they feel as though I am ready to learn more and essentially go to the next level of service. Cue, “and we’re movin on up” music from Good Times LOL. This always signifies for me…the end of a phase and the beginning of a new phase. With heightened emotion and excitement I wait patiently to see what’s coming.
And then it happened…just the other day I’m getting ready and I feel the presence of my guides, my teachers, my “spirit tribe” in heaven, very strongly around me. Like playing a movie for me they remind me of what I tell my clients in my readings. When I first came out of the “closet” as a medium, many people were uncertain about it, and probably a little uncertain about my sanity too, LOL. My husband and my mom, undoubtedly are the two closest people to me. In 5 years they’ve transformed from “biggest skeptics” to “biggest cheerleaders” in my life. That is no coincidence. That was divine… What was God teaching me? That I would encounter many people on this journey that wouldn’t “believe” in me, but if I could learn to get beyond that with the two closest people to me…then I can learn to get beyond it with anyone and persevere. He was preparing me. It was a test to my ego. Was I truly capable to do his work?
Here I am, five years as a medium and almost a year since my vision of the Blessed Mother. Another piece of my puzzle falls gently and swiftly into place. They ask me during times of despair, what is it that we are truly feeling? I can list all those emotions or I can just say simply at the core of despair is a lack of love, right? We might not feel love from others, we might not be loving ourselves, leading us to a feeling of emptiness and powerlessness. Now here’s the message…that despair is your mountain. Like the Blessed Mother said…you always have a choice, that is your God given power…free will..powerlessness is a fear based illusion, it’s not real. And you always have everything you need to keep going…that is your faith, your love, your strength, your hope. It’s the God light inside of you. And even though our mountains might be all different heights and terrains…guess what..at the top of that mountain we all find the same thing…LOVE! At some point that feeling of despair or lack of love is crucial in helping us to truly feel what we are all ultimately searching for…LOVE. It’s the ultimate test in this life. Can you pour every ounce of love, blood, sweat and tears you have out into the world , feel like you are receiving nothing in return, and then keep giving love anyway? Can you feel all the emotion that embodies lack of love…pain, sadness, frustration, irratability, anger, etc….and still forge on to radiate love anyway? When you do…you’ve made it to the top of that mountain. You have arrived at the true essence and understanding of what you and everyone else in this world is made from…LOVE, just love! and you’ve surrendered to it. Now I know my words are nothing new…we’ve all heard this before..and I believed it, I truly always believed it. But I didn’t fully understand it until I climbed that mountain myself. So I share this in knowing you will climb your own mountain to find that LOVE, if you haven’t already. Perhaps my words will encourage you to keep going thru the despair to get to the top. Maybe my words will help you to know we are really all in this together…and never alone. Maybe, just maybe my words will validate your own experiences. In the wise words of Mother Teresa…”For in the end, you will see it was always between you and GOD, it was never really between you and them anyway”. So keep going, keep climbing your mountain, keep searching for love and keep giving love anyway! Because at the end of this life love is the only thing that never truly dies, the only thing that you get to take with you to heaven and the only thing you want to leave behind…May the light of love in me..ignite the light of love in you! xo Jules