Today I Met My Fear

Today I met my fear.  I have to say as a child Monday’s always caused me a certain amount of anxiety and to this day still do.  Not necessarily because of what I have to do, but because of how I have conditioned myself for so many years.  See, for years I conditioned myself to suit up with my armor for the unpredictability that Monday’s would bring.  Whether from school days of commuting in hours of traffic into Boston, to tests and thesis papers, to walking into a short staffed hospital, or a into a patient coding at 6am when I’ve barely had a sip of my coffee.  I conditioned my body and my mind to those levels of stress.  My life is very different now.  Some would say a lot more zen.  Here’s the thing I’ve learned tho, it is not necessarily what I’m doing, it’s the characteristics of who I am.  I set the bar high no matter what I’m doing.  Therefore my tendency is to keep myself in a holding pattern of a certain stress level no matter what is actually going on, to keep myself on my game.  This is what I have been working on over the years.  That being said, we need not condition ourselves to a level of fear thinking we are in some way preparing ourselves for handling challenging circumstances better, because that is the greatest lie of all time!

This morning was different.  It was the full moon and it is Mercury Retrograde going direct again.  I went downstairs to grab an envelope and some money for my son’s school trip.  I had this moment and I looked out the window.  I saw an image of a man, not a real man, but much how I see spirit.  He was on my walkway, leaned over, peering inside my window staring at me.  I know, creepy right?!!  I thought, who is this man, and in my head I heard, much like I hear the voice of spirit, “I am your fear”.   It was a moment of pure clarity and epiphany as I sat there for a minute.  This man wasn’t really large, he didn’t look any different really than any other human being, but yet when I saw him, fear welled up within me.  He went on to remind me that fear takes on many different forms and can sneak up on us.  Fear doesn’t have to be packaged in a great big, scary looking monster.  Our greatest fears are packaged in our every day happenings.  We choose to recognize them and to culminate them or to release them.  If there was a line in the sand and on one side was faith and on one side was fear, where are you standing?  You can’t have one foot on both sides.  The universe feels your vibration.  Where you stand is where you are vibrating.  Where you are vibrating is the point at which you are creating and attracting, like a magnet.  It pains me most days to see people walking around not in touch with their God given power.  When I say power, I am not referring in any way to the acquisition of status or things, I am referring to our connection to the source within us and the magnificent abilities that go along with it.  Whatever you are thinking and feeling in this moment you are creating and attracting more of!! You can make excuses and point the finger and blame all you want.  Trust me, I’ve tried it, it will not change the laws of the universe.  To some, that is the scariest notion of all, the thought of being that powerful!  I have to be responsible for what I’m thinking and feeling?  YES!!!  Today I watched the news talk about coronavirus and the inevitable economic collapse that will occur.  We are perpetuating fear!! Fear is a self fulfilling prophecy!! If you believe it strong enough, it will come about in your experience to some degree.  You will see physical evidence.  How close it gets to you, you decide.  Tony Robbins says Fear is just “False Evidence Appearing Real”.  What if Fear was just another one of those emotions to let you know that you’ve allowed the conditions you are witnessing to disconnect you from the source within you?  I have had so many instances in the past week where others brought me their fears.  My son had watched a few videos on you tube that frightened him and then was afraid to sleep in his room.  So I cleansed his space and I had a talk with him about being responsible for his vibration and how ultimately he allowed his fear to take over, like we all do at times.  I tried to get him to see his power and reconnect to it,  he did.  I had 3 people in one day tell me they were afraid to get a reading.  Afraid to talk to spirit.  Afraid because of all the stories they had heard about spirit telling people “bad things” that would happen.   Those people that heard bad things, didn’t hear it from their loved ones in heaven.  They heard it through a man that was connected to a vibration of fear!!  One said she was afraid because of what was written in the bible.   The bible is written by man and if you haven’t gotten the memo yet, man is riddled with fear and for years was ruled by contradiction.  The truth is, fear is just the compass to guide our way back home to our faith!!  That is why it is so uncomfortable.  The message is “move closer to GOD.”.   I saw my purpose over and over again in these passed few weeks.  People let me say this, your fear is just as powerful as your faith!! I know if you are reading this you believe in the power of prayer, now let me introduce you to the power of your fear!! It is time that the world realize that yes there are lots of scary things that go on in world, but focusing on them and worrying about them, is culminating that energy and not helping, it is harming!!  It is time that we all take responsibility for the state of our own lives and the world and do something about it!  This retrograde had me questioning people that have come into my life and it helped me to see the intent so clearly.  As I shed layers of my ego, and continued to maintain my alignment as my highest priority, I was able to see more clearly those who were simply living in their ego and out of alignment.   I was able to have great compassion for them, more than ever before.  I read something this morning that said, “As my vibration got higher, my circle got smaller.”  A vibration of alignment is your highest source of protection and organically help us to love from a distance.   I know I can’t do the work for others, but I can hold space for them and show them what doing the work looks like.  I’m not telling you to turn a blind eye to the issues of the world.   What I am telling you is that your greatest power in changing those issues and helping those around you, lies in your own alignment and vibration you bring to the table.  The more you stay connected to your source and your faith, the more you show up in the presence of God.  Yes, that loving source of energy you pray to for miracles, flows through you everyday!!  In the presence of the highest state of compassion, and grace, and you will exude faith.  That is more contagious than any virus you will fear.   Abraham Hicks say, “one in the flow of the universe is more powerful than millions who are not”.  Let me tell you this, I met my fear today.  It looked me straight in the eye, even introduced itself to me.  It empowered me more than ever to be that one that stays in alignment, YOU?

I love you so much today.  You are a magnificent, magical, miracle child of GOD, please go be that on this anything but typical Full Moon Monday!  XO JULES

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“I’m Going Through Something”

The one thing we all have in common all the time, is that we are all, always going through something.  We have somehow been conditioned to believe that when we are going thru something it’s not ok to be “not ok”, and that it in some way represents weakness.  What I’ve learned is that honoring and releasing our feelings actually represents strength.  The thing about feelings is that they will inevitably come out.  Fr. Richard Rohr says, “If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it-usually to those closest to us.”  Pain is the quiet observer in the back of the room that will only stay quiet for so long before it makes a scene to be heard.  It will find a way to be expressed, and released.  In our futile attempts to stifle it and stuff it back down, or hold it in, we compound it.  Like water, pain will find its way to the small cracks in our walls and it will begin to ooze out, often under pressure, until it is finally released.  When I speak of pain, I’m referring to the wide array of negative emotion that we as humans feel everyday.  From sadness, to anger, to guilt, to resentment, and so on and so forth.  Pain is just the reminder that we experienced something that disconnected us from the truth of who we really are and how we want to express ourselves while in this body.  You see, those emotions do not exist in heaven.  So pain is really just the cue that something within is calling for healing and that we have some work to do.  The great illusion with pain is that giving it a label, a name, or a face, will somehow relieve it, but it doesn’t.  The idea is that having our feelings validated by others will help us to let them go, but it doesn’t.  The lie is that if we just don’t go there, or just don’t do that anymore, or just don’t see those people ever again, we won’t feel that way anymore, but then we do.  The truth is the end to our pain and suffering always lies within.  How many times when you have been going through something, have you wanted to shout to those around you, “Why can’t you see that I’m going through something?” How many times have you asked, “Why do they not understand?”.  Let me share the answers as spirit has explained them to me.   We did not come here in this body to understand others, we came to understand ourselves better.  The more we understand ourselves, understanding of others happens organically.  The day you stop looking for people to understand you, is the day they will because you are reflecting self awareness.  The day you stop looking for people to acknowledge your pain, is the day they will because you reflect a knowing that it has more to do with you than them.  The day you stop looking for people to love you the way you deserve, is the day you feel love on a level like you’ve never known because you reflect a self love that is limitless.  The day you stop blaming others for what your life is or isn’t, is the day your life becomes magnificent, because you reflect that you have come to know your power.   All of this because that is the day you take back the power you have been giving away to others for so long.  When you allow others to feed you as a source, you allow others to starve you as your source.  There is but one source that is meant to feed you, and that is your creator.  God did not put people in your life so that you could give all your power to them.  God did not create circumstances in your life so you could feel helpless against them.   God merely created you in this physical form so that through these experiences and people you would come to know your power and realize your potential to express it.   So next time you are going through something, acknowledge it, honor it, allow yourself to feel it, lovingly release it with gratitude, for without it, you would not know that you had some tending to do inside.  It is like your children letting you know when they are tired, cold, hungry or not feeling well.  They communicate their needs and you respond.  So do our bodies and our minds.  What if we became more gentle with ourselves like we are with our children?  There were so many times as a nurse people would come into the hospital for one thing, and incidentally we would discover something else that needed treatment.  Most people would respond with, “thank God, otherwise I would have never known”.  What if when things went wrong, we started to feel that same kind of gratitude for what brought to our attention what needs healing within us?  What if we gently eased ourselves out of a negative vibration the way a best friend would, with kind and compassionate words?  What if we spoke to ourselves the way we would speak to someone we love who was going through something?  It is only in the presence of self realization, self awareness, and self love that healing of self takes place.  Start to listen to the subtle whispers of your pain and treat it kindly and gently.  In the wise words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, for only “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”  Whatever you are going through today, know that God has made you all powerful to get through it when you allow his grace to flow through you!  Tapping into your ability to heal and release old patterns that no longer serve you will bring you to new and beautiful depths of love, compassion and understanding.  Even when you feel broken, know your ability to heal is far greater than anything that will bring you to your knees!

XO Jules

New Moon New Beginnings

Sitting here on a day when I usually have a list a mile long of errands to run, chores to get done, but somehow none of it feels right today.  Today I listen to the nudge that says rest, the still small voice that “says slow down, where are you going in such a rush?  If you knew that right now was all there was, would you be in such a hurry to get somewhere else?”  You’d soak it in a little more.  So I took this morning to reflect.  After all, it is the New Moon.  The first New Moon of Spring.  It’s a rebirth of sorts, in every sense of the word.  A rebirth of our mind, our bodies, and our souls.  We’ve all been through a lot in the past year.  Different stories, different circumstances, different pains and challenges, as well as different triumphs, but all with the same end game in mind, growth, joy and ultimately happiness.  It’s what will always tie us together.  Life is always about the feeling or the sentiment with which you experience it, it’s never about the circumstance that gets you there, that is just a means to an end.  Reflect on how far you’ve come.  Give yourself a pat on the back, not from a place of ego, from a place of self love.  Acknowledge your hard work and the self worth that you’ve gained along the way.  Remember when you had a hard time setting those boundaries, and letting go of what no longer served you.  Look at how far you’ve come!  It may not have been easy, but it will always be worth it, even when you don’t see it yet!  Today you are offered a fresh clean slate, a new palate, fresh soil to plant new seeds.  How is it that you want this garden to look.  It’s the garden of your future, so aim high.  So much inspiration will be flowing to you, listen to the subtle nudges, the things that seem like coincidences, they are the voice of the universe, of God, of guidance saying,  “take the next step”.  Just one foot in front of the other, you need not worry about anything more.    You were never meant to stand still.  How do you feel about where you stand today?  Make that your starting point.  Make that the elastic band that stretches you to new growth and propels you to reach for so much more.  There is always more.  No matter what you may feel in this moment do not allow yourself to become complacent to the miracle of life.  It is easy to take for granted being in a body.  It is easy to let circumstances blind you to the miracle of it all, but remember it was the most challenging of circumstances that gave you that perspective in the first place.  So hold tight to it.  Honor love and loss, with more love.  Honor sadness by looking toward happiness.  Honor anger with forgiveness.  Honor it all with the knowing that we all have the ability to heal, even when we think it is eluding us.  There is a new opportunity that is being presented to us all right now, today.  It will be found in the most unlikely places.  You will start to see Joy in places you never thought possible.  You will start to lean in directions that your old self never would have dared to venture.  Lean and then lean some more.  There is more.  The well of hope never runs dry and it is overflowing for you now.  This is just the beginning.  A new beginning.  Its called Today.

Xo Jules

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When Do You Matter?

I was on the treadmill yesterday and I have to say, many of my greatest epiphanies come when I am on that little hamster wheel!  I have always been an exercise person, but I incorporated it as part of my “sadhana” or daily spiritual practice a few years ago after reading “The Universe Has Your Back” by Gabby Bernstein.  Shaking off old stuck energy is crucial for me in keeping my vibration high and my channels clear in order to do what I do to the best of my ability.  As I was reflecting how these simple practices have enhanced my life, it is crazy!  I remember about a year ago going to see my sister for a Reiki session and she had written down some messages to share with me from spirit.  She told me that I put so much into making sure I show up my best for others, but I don’t do the same for me.   It hit me on a very deep level that day and I cried.  I realized that no matter how long the line was in front of me, I always put myself last.

Every day I showed up for my routine of exercise, meditation, eating clean and healthy, was always on my “work” days.  The days I felt I had to be on my game for my family, my clients, my work!  The days I felt I was needed most.  I would so look forward to the Saturdays and Sundays that I could just let my hair down and relax.   It took me a while to see the pattern I was setting myself up for.  I told myself this was Balance!  It wasn’t for me.  I was top notch when I showed up for others, but there was no time set aside to prepare for showing up for me!

This past six months spirit has changed my life dramatically.  I no longer do what I call “Yo-Yo-ing” my vibration.  I try to keep it a steady stream.  I did this by recalibrating what I considered to be balance.  I wasn’t listening to the still small voice that was at the back of the line screaming, “wait, what about me”.  I was listening to all the voices that were showing up around me on social media, tv, etc that were screaming, “Keep Up”.

Here’s the thing, making time to show up for you is critical.  I committed to doing my routine every day.   Yup, everyday.  It has been life-changing!  Sometimes that means telling everybody around me to take a hike, but I have learned to not feel guilty about that.  You can only give what you have!  I was caught in a cycle of filling up my tank and then emptying it for others only to then try to muster up the energy to fill it again.  It was making me feel like a “hamster on a wheel”.   Pun intended, courtesy of spirit!

What I learned was this,  if I felt on my game from doing that routine, why did I view it as a chore?  I was conditioned to believe it was!  Why was it I only gave that energy to show up my best for others and not myself?  I now look forward to doing those things on my “days off” if you can call them that, because I’m showing up for the most important person in my life, me!  I used to think that was selfish, until my husband could see and feel the difference in my vibration.   He knew I was on a mission and when I would try to fall back into old habits, he’d say, “why don’t you go do your routine, you’ll feel better.”  Hint taken!  He knew that is what makes me feel good about me and when I feel good about me, the rest falls into place fairly effortlessly.   I am a better person to myself and to those around me.  Do I get tired still? YES, absolutely, but I don’t run on empty!  That cycle I was caught in has transformed into a cycle of circulating more energy to give to whatever I want to do, whether it be for myself, my family, or my clients.    With clarity and worth I make better decisions about where I place my energy!

Here are the keys to keeping a full tank.  First, It’s great to give to others, but make sure you have something to give first.  Don’t assume others should know what’s going on in your head or your life!  You must come first or you have nothing to give! Insert mic drop here!  Second, decondition the belief systems that taking care of you is selfish.  I remember as a kid watching my mom feed all of us first and by the time she sat down her dinner would have to be reheated and she rarely got to enjoy eating at the same time as her family.  She always put herself last.  See how easily we fall into the same trap?  This pattern will spill over into many other areas of your life if you allow it.  Finally, strip the belief that what you do for others in some way measures your worth.  Ahh this is the biggest culprit of empty tanks, especially to those who live in service of others.   My Dad used to have a saying, “the emptiest cans make the loudest noise”.  I realize this is true.  When you’re full, you’re happy, and well you have less of a need to complain about things because you are grateful about your relationship with time, energy, and others, not resentful.   Let me save you a few hundred hours of meditation with this little love nugget, you define your worth, nobody else!  Every time I forget that, I envision Tom Cruise singing “Bring back that old loving feeling” and remind myself to let that shit go!  That is not love at all.  Love starts within and radiates out of you.  The more you start putting yourself first, the more you fall in love with yourself and your life,  the more you radiate that vibe out into the world.  Showing up for yourself helps you to show up better for others!!   True Story! So next time a line forms in front of you demanding your time and energy, make sure your ticket says #1!

“The day I realized my place in my life was never meant to be last was the day that my life changed.” ~Julie Clapp

XO JULES

Empaths Guide to Thriving not Just Surviving

Feeling like you might be an Empath?  Feeling like there is always something weighing on you that keeps you from living the life you truly desire?  Perhaps some of it isn’t even yours that you are carrying!  Well let me tell you, God only gave you two hands for a reason!  You weren’t built for heavy hauling, you were born to fly free!  Here are my 10 Key Steps in order for you to Start Thriving, not just surviving!

1. Stop believing that you came here to suffer and that it is inevitably part of your story!  You came here to lead a joyous and and beautiful life, just like everyone else.  Just because you have an ability to feel on a scale that others may not does not mean you need to stay down in the dumps! Start changing your storyline with affirmations and mantras that let the universe know in the next chapter there is a plot twist, and you are ready to connect to your greatest joy!
2. Stop perceiving your gift as your curse!  The ability to feel things is not necessarily a double edged sword.  Many believe because you can feel the greatest highs, you will too feel the depth of the lows.  Well maybe so, but you have the power to change that.  Anytime you feel your vibration lowering, do something to raise it up.  See the next steps where I talk more about raising your vibe!
3. Ditch the story that you are a powerless victim of circumstance!  Time to stand in your power.  Remember the law of attraction.  The vibration you function at is the vibration you receive at!! If you allow yourself to remain in states of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, you will continue to receive much of the same.  This is not easy and probably the toughest of all steps.  We have been conditioned to believe that how we feel is how we feel and that we cannot do much about it.  That is not the truth!  The more you shift toward whatever brings you joy, the more your experience of life shifts to match you!  This is your power!
4. Meditate more so that you think less!  The brain is a tricky thing, not to mention the ego.  When we meditate is slows our conscious thought patterns and redirects us toward the truth.  Now I bet you’ll say, “but I can’t meditate”.  Yes you can!  Do what works for you to quiet your mind and stop the busy thoughts.  Practice equals progress!  Guided meditation is best when just starting out, when you get distracted, direct yourself back to the voice!  “This is the great and powerful OZ speaking” . LOL
5. Create a DAILY practice that involves movement of your body to release old stuck energy, grounding techniques, and a technique to protect the energy you create within from the “vampires” in your life.  Examples:
   • take a walk outside
   • envision a bright white light coming down from the heaven’s above thru your body and out thru the soles of your feet spreading into the ground like the roots of a tree grounding you
   • envision that same bright white light encasing you in a bubble.  The thicker the bubble the stronger you are protecting your energy.
   • Last but not least, call on Archangel Michael.  He is nondenominational, meaning he spans beyond all religious labels to help us all.  He is the great protector.  Just call his name and he shall be there!
6. NO is a complete sentence!  Empaths always be like, “oh sure, I’ll be right there, let me just grab my cape” .   Only to feel exhausted, drained, and resentful that they never are allowed to do for themselves.  Practice, this scenario, “Can you just..”…”NO”.  Not No i’m sorry, not No with ten stories explaining why, just No.  The more you do the more you will stop that cycle that is really just fueling resentments in your relationships!  Your worth is not measured by what you do for others or by what they think of you.  When you accept that truth and start determining your own worth, no becomes a lot easier to say!
7. It is not selfish to focus on yourself.  Remember you can only give what you have.  As someone who is nurturing and likes to care for others, it is critical that you are allowing yourself to run on empty!  Keep your tank full and you will always feel like you have more to give! You come first! No exceptions. The end!
8.  Accept that it is not your job to fix others, it’s theirs!  Where are my fixers at?  We always want those we care about to live a life to their fullest potential, but you can’t love somebody enough into the life you want for them!  Spirit tells me over and over in my readings, we just simply need to love, accept and honor one another’s journey’s mess and all!  As hard as it may be to watch the mess unfold, guess what?  When you swoop in with your cape to fix it, you may just be hindering the lesson that the person needs to get to move forward.  You know what that means, it will just be coming around again.  Nuff said?  Let God do his job.
9. Keep it on your own mat!  I may be an awkward yogi, but I’ve got this one down pretty good.  Watching what others are doing, comparing, and giving unsolicited advice are all No, No’s.  When people want advice they will ask for it, and even then I would exercise caution sharing your opinion.  Nothing is more frustrating to an empath than spending countless hours and energy giving someone advice only to have them do the opposite.  This is what my husband refers to as an “askhole” . They ask, but don’t listen!  Focusing on yourself and leading by example are all ways you can better positively serve the people around you.  Eventually, they are gonna want some of what you are doing because they will feel and see the difference in your energy and your vibration.  Let me introduce you to my friend, Happiness!
10. When your an empath, the small stuff can feel like the big stuff, but know this you are beautiful just as you are, you are more than enough, and you are here because your light cannot be shined by anyone else.  God picked you to do it!  Walk a little slower, take in the scenery, God worked really hard on it.  Life is too short not to enjoy it!

“My Life Changed When I Stopped Looking at My Sensitivity as a Curse, and I Started to See it as My Greatest Gift” ~Julie Clapp

How to handle one of those days..or a few..

I woke up today, Sunday, normally one of my most peaceful days of the week..in a complete state of what I would call chaos…inner chaos and full of mind chatter.  I realized in the past 2 days I had been so busy, racing the clock, trying to keep up with my “responsibilities”  I had completely neglected my greatest responsibility…me!   I am grateful that today I have the” where with all” to recognized when I am a complete “hot mess” and I have a “go to” home remedy to treat said “chaotic fever”.    So if you feel like you’ve been having those days yourself lately..today is your lucky day..  because this nurse is in session and ready to share how I rediscovered my Grace amidst chaos.

Typically I start my days with a prayer from a course in miracles that goes like this, “God where would you have me go today, what would you have me do, what would you have me say, and to whom”.  I then follow with a meditation to align with my highest self, but this weekend life got in the way.  Very quickly I felt the grace inside me draining away…the clouds rolling in, the stories beginning to play in my mind, all the while my frustration level rising.   Sound familiar?  Guess what? Not only did take the ticket to ride that merry go round, I hopped on with a smile and went round and round for a full 48 hrs without asking to get off.   At some point this morning, it clicked for me…that this is not how I roll anymore.  Truth be told, there was a time when I considered that “normal” if you can call it that, but now it is so the opposite.  Watching my grace slowly drain out of me at my own hands was like cutting a whole in the bottom of my own ship and watching it go down with me in it, true story!  I had realized I hadn’t done my “normal” routine of prayer and meditation in two days, hence why I had lost touch with how I wanted to show up in my life.  So I grabbed my life vest, went to my meditation corner, turned on my music, and  this is what flowed thru me…”God help me to gracefully compliment our state of being just as we are today and always”.  Feel free to recite repeatedly when in said state of “chaotic fever” aka hot mess.

I realized as I was showing up for what was happening in my life, not only was I not responding with Grace, I was responding with complete frustration.  It wasn’t until I quieted the noise in my head that I could see that clearly.  Maybe I couldn’t control the things that were happening, but I could control how I responded to them.  It was like all of a sudden I could here a rendition of Britney Spears “Oops I did it again” playing in my head.  Yes my guides have quite the sense of humor when teaching me lessons for the millionth time.  Their way of reminding me “Jules you know better”, no doubt.  So here’s how they elaborated.  To compliment others is innate in us, but we can easily lose sight of our ability to do so.  By compliment,  spirit doesn’t mean to give someone your approval of their outside appearance or behavior, aka “Jenny your hair is so on point today girl” lol, no, no, no they mean to compliment their state of being.  When you are in the presence of someone who is weighted down, compliment their state of being by showing up in your lightheartedness; when someone is sad, show up in your joy; when someone is angry, show up in your peace, and when someone is frustrated, show up in your grace.   I needed to sit and reflect on how I had done just the opposite so that I could continue to learn and grow from this experience (insert cough and “shit show” instead of experience here) as best I could.   Years ago I built walls to protect myself from feeling uncomfortable emotions.  As if I could protect myself from feeling pain.  Like Dorothy, I’d click my heels 3 times and recite, “There’s no place like home”.   Didn’t work out so well.  So for the last few years I have worked very hard to deconstruct those walls in an attempt to be more compassionate.  John Holland says, “the price of sensitivity is sensitivity”..well isn’t that an understatement?!!   So as I became more sensitive I started to feel like an energetic version of Spongebob who started to take on all the burdens and emotions around me.  Essentially, what that did was turn me into a crabby patty,  literally I would end up just joining the pity party.  But here’s where I stand today.   We don’t have to do either of the two.  When we make aligning with the grace inside us, our priority,  we have no need to protect ourselves from anything or anyone in our lives.  Sometimes I’m going to be a hot mess and sometimes you are.  That is OKAY!!   It is not our job to validate each other to make each other feel better, nor is it our job to fix each other’s lives.  Validation has never healed anyone, it is when we release the need to be validated that healing occurs.  say that a few times and really let it sink in…it’s powerfully true.  Honestly, if someone had validated me today, I would’ve just stayed on the merry go round a little longer, I mean my ego was in ego heaven after all!  And there really wasn’t anything for anyone to fix.  What I needed was someone to compliment me and someone did.  That person was my Mom.  She complimented me.  She didn’t tell me I was wonderful, or beautiful, or right, she didn’t validate my feelings or my behavior, and she didn’t try to fix anything.  She just sat and listened to me spout off like a fountain.  She sat with a smile, she sat in her grace, she sat in her own state of peace, and she simply asked me to pray with her.   So get this..someone who was clearly not on the receiving end of my grace today…showed up in her grace for me anyway!  Miraculous I tell ya!!  Her grace led me to my meditation chair, which led me to my heart, to my light, to my grace, and to here.  So here is the take away…If you are a hot mess, that’s okay! Allow yourself to feel the discomfort and when you are done with it, get off of the merry go round and do something that helps you rediscover the grace within you.  If someone else is a hot mess, just allow them to be a hot mess, and just show up and let the grace within you compliment them and lead them to rediscover the grace within themselves.  So I’ll leave you with these beautiful wise words of Billy Graham, “The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you”.

Xo Jules

 

 

 

God had other plans for me today..how about you?

I was supposed to have a reading event today…God had other plans.  With the approaching snow storm my to-do list flipped upside down and grew…but did not evoke the typical reaction from me today.  I started my day with this prayer of what I consider ultimate surrender and letting go, not easy for the control freak in me!!  I was led to my mediation chair, my pen, my journal..and these words flowing to me and thru me to you…

I sit here in grey silence.  The calm before the storm.  The sounds of the wind chimes in my back yard, swaying in the breeze, the red cardinal out my window at my bird feeder..my messenger from heaven today, no doubt.  I feel peace…Tho knowing a storm is on the horizon, tho knowing we are still in the process of recovering from the last two storms, although knowing all too well I have no control over the imperfect conditions that surround me in this moment.   What storms have you been dealing with?  I prayed today for peace, I prayed today for help in letting go, I prayed today for love and for help with balancing the giving and receiving of it, I prayed today for health and healing for all those that are in need of it…I prayed..and I prayed..and it only took a few of my moments.  I sit in silence, pausing, staring out the window..contemplating what really is the ultimate joy we seek in this life?  Is that ultimate joy that which is described as the love that exists in heaven?  For if I had not known the depth of great sadness and pain on this earth, would I be able to recognize great joy when I was introduced to it?  There is something to be said for the fights and the mountains that we fear so greatly…For it is amidst these challenges that we may meet complete exhaustion..we may surrender how we thought things were supposed to be…we may be introduced to a fire and passion that we never knew existed within us..the one that divinely fuels us to keep going.   In that fight we are led..as if pulled by a magnet…we extend our hands to one another without even thinking..instinctually.. we say to one another..”let’s go”…we remind one another we are never truly alone, especially when we climb mountains..especially when we climb mountains!  We feel the power of love pushing and propelling us without the ability to comprehend how.  WE RISE…There is something to be said for these mountains we fight to climb.  There is something to be said for that finish line, that peak in front of you…even when you can’t see it what lies on the other side.   To know great challenge is to know great triumph.  To know great triumph is to know great love and recognize ultimate joy.  Fight, surrender, fight more, surrender more…all in your time.  When you are not climbing your own mountain, extend your hand to someone that is…and just make them feel loved, just loved.  You will cross that finish line…we all will..you will reach that peak..you may be on your knees, but your hands will be in the air, your heart will be on your sleeve and your lungs will be full of breath to remind you…you are alive.  The tears roll down your cheek just to show you how your beautiful and miraculous that body of yours is that carried and cleansed you along the way.   These are your mountains, these are your fights.. this is your story…you choose how it reads…but know this…none of our stories will ever close with THE END…they will all read…He/She knew ultimate love & joy…however that comes to pass.  Sometimes you just need to let go and let God lead the way.   Today is that day.  Have faith, his plan is always far greater than anything we could’ve designed.   “You’re about to see God take you where you couldn’t go on your own” ~Joel Osteen

XO Jules

 

Move It or Lose It

I woke up to our family goldfish “stinky” floating belly up in his tank this morning.  No joke, I opened the top of his tank to feed him as I do every morning for the past 2 years and there he was.  We won him at the Marshfield fair and at the time I had one of those mom moments, ya know, the ones where you say, “Over my dead body.  We are not taking home a fish.  I’ll be the one that has to take care of it!”  Well, as you can tell, I lost that battle and stinky came home with us anyway.   I stared at the poor little guy this morning, my eyes filled and I began sobbing.  Then I stopped.  My logical mind chimed in, “are you serious, this is a goldfish”.  I took a deep breath, noticing that my 9 year old son was watching my response, and his eyes began to fill.   I thought to myself, “you have been a nurse of 17 years and watched many souls go out of this world without shedding a tear, but you’re gonna break down over a gold fish?!”  Do you know what my very next thought was?  “Ya know what, yes I am!”  I cried and I let my son see me cry, and I said, I’m gonna miss stinky, so I’m gonna let out my sadness and then be happy for where he is now.   He was a lot less phased by stinky’s passing than me, lol.   I realized in this moment how sensitive I have become.   As a nurse I learned to build walls, to protect myself, to shield my heart from pain.   The unpredictablility of my job taught me that there was discomfort in feeling and I therefore needed to prevent myself from doing it.   As a medium I have learned to break down those walls, to allow myself to feel whatever I feel, and to acknowledge pain in a whole new way.   John Holland says, “The price of sensitivity, is sensitivity”.   The truth is I have made myself a sensitive being in order to connect with the subtleties of energy that surround us everyday.  This is what I do.  My sensitivity allows me to tune into the vibration of spirit with clarity, but does come at what some would look at as a price tag.  So yes, I am a sensitive being, to a degree I have never allowed before, and I can say with certainty, I wouldn’t change a thing.   So for those of you who also feel like your a sensitive being, this one is for you!

There is nothing wrong with being sensitive.  We are all sponges soaking up the energy and emotions around us to some degree.  Some of us are just more aware of that concept than others.  Once we come to understand energy and how we respond to it, we learn to understand ourselves on a whole new level. Yesterday I was running on my treadmill, thoughts racing thru my mind as usual, my “to-do” list, my criticisms and judgement, my expectations, everything that I know doesn’t serve me, but none the less still exists within me and exists within us all.   Let me just say this, there are no human beings who do not experience these things, there are just human beings who don’t talk about their experience of these things.  We are all human and all flawed, and that is why we are here.   External triggers to our ego and the emotional rollercoaster are part of life.  How we respond and react to those triggers and rides is our experience of life.  Are you still with me?  So yesterday I am running and running and literally beating the “piss and vinegar” out of my thoughts.   Then it was like someone hit a switch and an unexplainable flood of emotion came over me like a tidal wave.  I began to cry,  ugly cry.  It was like someone took a pin and released all this pressure that was built up inside.  Like everything I let rise to the surface had been swiftly and gently lifted away.  In that moment all those thoughts faded away.  In that moment there was but one emotion that started to well up inside me.  That emotion was love.  Just love, but in so many different forms.  Love in the form of forgiveness, forgiveness to myself and to others for the judgement and criticisms we were unable to see with compassion.  Love in the form of gratitude for the moments I’ve had, whether great and not so great, they led me to this moment.  Love in the form of understanding for all that is and for who is in my present moment, it’s all for good reason.   In my head I heard the words of the lord’s prayer being recited back to me, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”.  Let those words sink in.   Do you know what I heard next, “move it”.  In a very confident voice, so simple, “move it”.    The voice of spirit comes not when you want it, but when you need it.  I began to understand on a whole new level what had just happened.   In moving my body, I prompted my shell to crack.  Just like a turtle we create these invisible shells to protect ourselves from having painful or uncomfortable experiences, but if we never come to understand these experiences, then what were they for?  If we never crack open the oyster, do we ever discover the pearl?  Each day we add layers to that shell based on our experience.   Each layer is like a blanket.  The illusion is that this blanket is insulating us, to keep us warm and cushion our falls.  The truth is, that blanket, it smothers our light.   God’s light within us all.  We are Human!!  While it’s ok to protect yourself in certain circumstances, it’s also just as important to routinely crack those shells we’ve created and shed the blankets.  Life is unpredictable and messy and we need to find the beauty in the mess.  In doing so, we allow our uncomfortable or painful thoughts and emotions to rise and to be released.    Our light inside, that was once smothered, is now allowed to shine again.  Every time I do this, I feel like I am finding myself again.  Like oh yeah, that’s who you really are, I remember now!  Exercise has always been a part of my routine or my sadhana, but I have a whole new understanding for how movement of our bodies is crucial for self-discovery.    I promise, every time you move, you will crack that shell, you will learn something new about yourself, and you will re-align to what you want your experience of life to be, instead of what you think it is.

My sister Bernadette introduced me to running years ago and I’m not gonna lie, I always kind of viewed it as a bit of a chore, until I stopped making it one.  I run when I want to, and when I don’t, I choose to move my body in other ways that serve me in that moment. She started a business years ago called “Find Your Wae”  based on her journey of self-discovery.   She is now dedicated to helping others find themselves amidst their experience of life.  The crazy thing is, her self-discovery was triggered by painful experience.  In that pain she was led to run.  Running  became the answers to her prayers that led her to discover her light again and to share that light with others.  She made the choice not to stare at that mountian,  she moved it, and she started that process by moving her body!  My niece Meg, aka “The Fearless Healing Yogi” has introduced me to yoga as well, and even though I’m a totally awkward yogi, I’ve found that gentle movement of my body is just as effective in cracking my outer shell and ringing out my emotions.   No one can make me feel like a freshly rung out towel like Meg can in just one of her hot yoga sessions.  Self-discovery is in itself a journey not a destination.  I know the day I wake up and say I know everything, is the day I will wake up in heaven. Until then I will continue to move it, my body that is, oh and of course those pesky mountains that end up in my way.  I’m gonna leave all of y’all in my sensitive squad with two things to get you thru the day.  One, is that song by Reel 2 Real, that goes like this, “I like to Move it, move it, ya like to move it, move it”.   Let that be your mantra today, cuz if ya don’t move it, ya lose it kids.  Second, one of my fav quotes, from one of my fav babes, “I wasn’t searching for something or someone…I was searching for me.” ~Carrie Bradshaw

May the light in me in some small way, be the match to re-ignite the light in you today.  Xo Jules

P.S.  If you would like more info on the above fore mentioned babes who help me to “move it” visit.  “http://www.thefearlesshealingyogi.com/  and http://findyourwae.com/ or find them on facebook.  They will feed your soul!