How to handle one of those days..or a few..

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I woke up today, Sunday, normally one of my most peaceful days of the week..in a complete state of what I would call chaos…inner chaos and full of mind chatter.  I realized in the past 2 days I had been so busy, racing the clock, trying to keep up with my “responsibilities”  I had completely neglected my greatest responsibility…me!   I am grateful that today I have the” where with all” to recognized when I am a complete “hot mess” and I have a “go to” home remedy to treat said “chaotic fever”.    So if you feel like you’ve been having those days yourself lately..today is your lucky day..  because this nurse is in session and ready to share how I rediscovered my Grace amidst chaos.

Typically I start my days with a prayer from a course in miracles that goes like this, “God where would you have me go today, what would you have me do, what would you have me say, and to whom”.  I then follow with a meditation to align with my highest self, but this weekend life got in the way.  Very quickly I felt the grace inside me draining away…the clouds rolling in, the stories beginning to play in my mind, all the while my frustration level rising.   Sound familiar?  Guess what? Not only did take the ticket to ride that merry go round, I hopped on with a smile and went round and round for a full 48 hrs without asking to get off.   At some point this morning, it clicked for me…that this is not how I roll anymore.  Truth be told, there was a time when I considered that “normal” if you can call it that, but now it is so the opposite.  Watching my grace slowly drain out of me at my own hands was like cutting a whole in the bottom of my own ship and watching it go down with me in it, true story!  I had realized I hadn’t done my “normal” routine of prayer and meditation in two days, hence why I had lost touch with how I wanted to show up in my life.  So I grabbed my life vest, went to my meditation corner, turned on my music, and  this is what flowed thru me…”God help me to gracefully compliment our state of being just as we are today and always”.  Feel free to recite repeatedly when in said state of “chaotic fever” aka hot mess.

I realized as I was showing up for what was happening in my life, not only was I not responding with Grace, I was responding with complete frustration.  It wasn’t until I quieted the noise in my head that I could see that clearly.  Maybe I couldn’t control the things that were happening, but I could control how I responded to them.  It was like all of a sudden I could here a rendition of Britney Spears “Oops I did it again” playing in my head.  Yes my guides have quite the sense of humor when teaching me lessons for the millionth time.  Their way of reminding me “Jules you know better”, no doubt.  So here’s how they elaborated.  To compliment others is innate in us, but we can easily lose sight of our ability to do so.  By compliment,  spirit doesn’t mean to give someone your approval of their outside appearance or behavior, aka “Jenny your hair is so on point today girl” lol, no, no, no they mean to compliment their state of being.  When you are in the presence of someone who is weighted down, compliment their state of being by showing up in your lightheartedness; when someone is sad, show up in your joy; when someone is angry, show up in your peace, and when someone is frustrated, show up in your grace.   I needed to sit and reflect on how I had done just the opposite so that I could continue to learn and grow from this experience (insert cough and “shit show” instead of experience here) as best I could.   Years ago I built walls to protect myself from feeling uncomfortable emotions.  As if I could protect myself from feeling pain.  Like Dorothy, I’d click my heels 3 times and recite, “There’s no place like home”.   Didn’t work out so well.  So for the last few years I have worked very hard to deconstruct those walls in an attempt to be more compassionate.  John Holland says, “the price of sensitivity is sensitivity”..well isn’t that an understatement?!!   So as I became more sensitive I started to feel like an energetic version of Spongebob who started to take on all the burdens and emotions around me.  Essentially, what that did was turn me into a crabby patty,  literally I would end up just joining the pity party.  But here’s where I stand today.   We don’t have to do either of the two.  When we make aligning with the grace inside us, our priority,  we have no need to protect ourselves from anything or anyone in our lives.  Sometimes I’m going to be a hot mess and sometimes you are.  That is OKAY!!   It is not our job to validate each other to make each other feel better, nor is it our job to fix each other’s lives.  Validation has never healed anyone, it is when we release the need to be validated that healing occurs.  say that a few times and really let it sink in…it’s powerfully true.  Honestly, if someone had validated me today, I would’ve just stayed on the merry go round a little longer, I mean my ego was in ego heaven after all!  And there really wasn’t anything for anyone to fix.  What I needed was someone to compliment me and someone did.  That person was my Mom.  She complimented me.  She didn’t tell me I was wonderful, or beautiful, or right, she didn’t validate my feelings or my behavior, and she didn’t try to fix anything.  She just sat and listened to me spout off like a fountain.  She sat with a smile, she sat in her grace, she sat in her own state of peace, and she simply asked me to pray with her.   So get this..someone who was clearly not on the receiving end of my grace today…showed up in her grace for me anyway!  Miraculous I tell ya!!  Her grace led me to my meditation chair, which led me to my heart, to my light, to my grace, and to here.  So here is the take away…If you are a hot mess, that’s okay! Allow yourself to feel the discomfort and when you are done with it, get off of the merry go round and do something that helps you rediscover the grace within you.  If someone else is a hot mess, just allow them to be a hot mess, and just show up and let the grace within you compliment them and lead them to rediscover the grace within themselves.  So I’ll leave you with these beautiful wise words of Billy Graham, “The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you”.

Xo Jules

 

 

 

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God had other plans for me today..how about you?

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I was supposed to have a reading event today…God had other plans.  With the approaching snow storm my to-do list flipped upside down and grew…but did not evoke the typical reaction from me today.  I started my day with this prayer of what I consider ultimate surrender and letting go, not easy for the control freak in me!!  I was led to my mediation chair, my pen, my journal..and these words flowing to me and thru me to you…

I sit here in grey silence.  The calm before the storm.  The sounds of the wind chimes in my back yard, swaying in the breeze, the red cardinal out my window at my bird feeder..my messenger from heaven today, no doubt.  I feel peace…Tho knowing a storm is on the horizon, tho knowing we are still in the process of recovering from the last two storms, although knowing all too well I have no control over the imperfect conditions that surround me in this moment.   What storms have you been dealing with?  I prayed today for peace, I prayed today for help in letting go, I prayed today for love and for help with balancing the giving and receiving of it, I prayed today for health and healing for all those that are in need of it…I prayed..and I prayed..and it only took a few of my moments.  I sit in silence, pausing, staring out the window..contemplating what really is the ultimate joy we seek in this life?  Is that ultimate joy that which is described as the love that exists in heaven?  For if I had not known the depth of great sadness and pain on this earth, would I be able to recognize great joy when I was introduced to it?  There is something to be said for the fights and the mountains that we fear so greatly…For it is amidst these challenges that we may meet complete exhaustion..we may surrender how we thought things were supposed to be…we may be introduced to a fire and passion that we never knew existed within us..the one that divinely fuels us to keep going.   In that fight we are led..as if pulled by a magnet…we extend our hands to one another without even thinking..instinctually.. we say to one another..”let’s go”…we remind one another we are never truly alone, especially when we climb mountains..especially when we climb mountains!  We feel the power of love pushing and propelling us without the ability to comprehend how.  WE RISE…There is something to be said for these mountains we fight to climb.  There is something to be said for that finish line, that peak in front of you…even when you can’t see it what lies on the other side.   To know great challenge is to know great triumph.  To know great triumph is to know great love and recognize ultimate joy.  Fight, surrender, fight more, surrender more…all in your time.  When you are not climbing your own mountain, extend your hand to someone that is…and just make them feel loved, just loved.  You will cross that finish line…we all will..you will reach that peak..you may be on your knees, but your hands will be in the air, your heart will be on your sleeve and your lungs will be full of breath to remind you…you are alive.  The tears roll down your cheek just to show you how your beautiful and miraculous that body of yours is that carried and cleansed you along the way.   These are your mountains, these are your fights.. this is your story…you choose how it reads…but know this…none of our stories will ever close with THE END…they will all read…He/She knew ultimate love & joy…however that comes to pass.  Sometimes you just need to let go and let God lead the way.   Today is that day.  Have faith, his plan is always far greater than anything we could’ve designed.   “You’re about to see God take you where you couldn’t go on your own” ~Joel Osteen

XO Jules

 

Move It or Lose It

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I woke up to our family goldfish “stinky” floating belly up in his tank this morning.  No joke, I opened the top of his tank to feed him as I do every morning for the past 2 years and there he was.  We won him at the Marshfield fair and at the time I had one of those mom moments, ya know, the ones where you say, “Over my dead body.  We are not taking home a fish.  I’ll be the one that has to take care of it!”  Well, as you can tell, I lost that battle and stinky came home with us anyway.   I stared at the poor little guy this morning, my eyes filled and I began sobbing.  Then I stopped.  My logical mind chimed in, “are you serious, this is a goldfish”.  I took a deep breath, noticing that my 9 year old son was watching my response, and his eyes began to fill.   I thought to myself, “you have been a nurse of 17 years and watched many souls go out of this world without shedding a tear, but you’re gonna break down over a gold fish?!”  Do you know what my very next thought was?  “Ya know what, yes I am!”  I cried and I let my son see me cry, and I said, I’m gonna miss stinky, so I’m gonna let out my sadness and then be happy for where he is now.   He was a lot less phased by stinky’s passing than me, lol.   I realized in this moment how sensitive I have become.   As a nurse I learned to build walls, to protect myself, to shield my heart from pain.   The unpredictablility of my job taught me that there was discomfort in feeling and I therefore needed to prevent myself from doing it.   As a medium I have learned to break down those walls, to allow myself to feel whatever I feel, and to acknowledge pain in a whole new way.   John Holland says, “The price of sensitivity, is sensitivity”.   The truth is I have made myself a sensitive being in order to connect with the subtleties of energy that surround us everyday.  This is what I do.  My sensitivity allows me to tune into the vibration of spirit with clarity, but does come at what some would look at as a price tag.  So yes, I am a sensitive being, to a degree I have never allowed before, and I can say with certainty, I wouldn’t change a thing.   So for those of you who also feel like your a sensitive being, this one is for you!

There is nothing wrong with being sensitive.  We are all sponges soaking up the energy and emotions around us to some degree.  Some of us are just more aware of that concept than others.  Once we come to understand energy and how we respond to it, we learn to understand ourselves on a whole new level. Yesterday I was running on my treadmill, thoughts racing thru my mind as usual, my “to-do” list, my criticisms and judgement, my expectations, everything that I know doesn’t serve me, but none the less still exists within me and exists within us all.   Let me just say this, there are no human beings who do not experience these things, there are just human beings who don’t talk about their experience of these things.  We are all human and all flawed, and that is why we are here.   External triggers to our ego and the emotional rollercoaster are part of life.  How we respond and react to those triggers and rides is our experience of life.  Are you still with me?  So yesterday I am running and running and literally beating the “piss and vinegar” out of my thoughts.   Then it was like someone hit a switch and an unexplainable flood of emotion came over me like a tidal wave.  I began to cry,  ugly cry.  It was like someone took a pin and released all this pressure that was built up inside.  Like everything I let rise to the surface had been swiftly and gently lifted away.  In that moment all those thoughts faded away.  In that moment there was but one emotion that started to well up inside me.  That emotion was love.  Just love, but in so many different forms.  Love in the form of forgiveness, forgiveness to myself and to others for the judgement and criticisms we were unable to see with compassion.  Love in the form of gratitude for the moments I’ve had, whether great and not so great, they led me to this moment.  Love in the form of understanding for all that is and for who is in my present moment, it’s all for good reason.   In my head I heard the words of the lord’s prayer being recited back to me, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”.  Let those words sink in.   Do you know what I heard next, “move it”.  In a very confident voice, so simple, “move it”.    The voice of spirit comes not when you want it, but when you need it.  I began to understand on a whole new level what had just happened.   In moving my body, I prompted my shell to crack.  Just like a turtle we create these invisible shells to protect ourselves from having painful or uncomfortable experiences, but if we never come to understand these experiences, then what were they for?  If we never crack open the oyster, do we ever discover the pearl?  Each day we add layers to that shell based on our experience.   Each layer is like a blanket.  The illusion is that this blanket is insulating us, to keep us warm and cushion our falls.  The truth is, that blanket, it smothers our light.   God’s light within us all.  We are Human!!  While it’s ok to protect yourself in certain circumstances, it’s also just as important to routinely crack those shells we’ve created and shed the blankets.  Life is unpredictable and messy and we need to find the beauty in the mess.  In doing so, we allow our uncomfortable or painful thoughts and emotions to rise and to be released.    Our light inside, that was once smothered, is now allowed to shine again.  Every time I do this, I feel like I am finding myself again.  Like oh yeah, that’s who you really are, I remember now!  Exercise has always been a part of my routine or my sadhana, but I have a whole new understanding for how movement of our bodies is crucial for self-discovery.    I promise, every time you move, you will crack that shell, you will learn something new about yourself, and you will re-align to what you want your experience of life to be, instead of what you think it is.

My sister Bernadette introduced me to running years ago and I’m not gonna lie, I always kind of viewed it as a bit of a chore, until I stopped making it one.  I run when I want to, and when I don’t, I choose to move my body in other ways that serve me in that moment. She started a business years ago called “Find Your Wae”  based on her journey of self-discovery.   She is now dedicated to helping others find themselves amidst their experience of life.  The crazy thing is, her self-discovery was triggered by painful experience.  In that pain she was led to run.  Running  became the answers to her prayers that led her to discover her light again and to share that light with others.  She made the choice not to stare at that mountian,  she moved it, and she started that process by moving her body!  My niece Meg, aka “The Fearless Healing Yogi” has introduced me to yoga as well, and even though I’m a totally awkward yogi, I’ve found that gentle movement of my body is just as effective in cracking my outer shell and ringing out my emotions.   No one can make me feel like a freshly rung out towel like Meg can in just one of her hot yoga sessions.  Self-discovery is in itself a journey not a destination.  I know the day I wake up and say I know everything, is the day I will wake up in heaven. Until then I will continue to move it, my body that is, oh and of course those pesky mountains that end up in my way.  I’m gonna leave all of y’all in my sensitive squad with two things to get you thru the day.  One, is that song by Reel 2 Real, that goes like this, “I like to Move it, move it, ya like to move it, move it”.   Let that be your mantra today, cuz if ya don’t move it, ya lose it kids.  Second, one of my fav quotes, from one of my fav babes, “I wasn’t searching for something or someone…I was searching for me.” ~Carrie Bradshaw

May the light in me in some small way, be the match to re-ignite the light in you today.  Xo Jules

P.S.  If you would like more info on the above fore mentioned babes who help me to “move it” visit.  “http://www.thefearlesshealingyogi.com/  and http://findyourwae.com/ or find them on facebook.  They will feed your soul!

 

 

 

A letter from Heaven

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4599711705For 15 years I worked as a nurse vigorously trying to control situations and people in an attempt to fool myself into thinking I could keep them in this world a bit longer.   Little did I realize that the story I was telling myself would soon become a great life lesson I would learn not only from my cosmic inner circle, but my mentors on the other side.   It wasn’t until I watched souls slip away anyway, one at a time, year after year, did I begin to uncover the truth.  The truth of the power within us.  For the last 5 years spirits on the other side have taught me that although we don’t have control..we do have this magnificent power waiting to be tapped into.

I did my readings today as usual…talking to spirit after spirit continually referencing words left unsaid, regrets, burdens being carried..and begging their loved ones to let them go.  It got me thinking…well not thinking.. more like writing..automatic writing..I said spirit…there is more to this today…write thru me today..tell me what to share about our power.  As we approach these holidays what is it I can share to ease others pain, to keep them going, to get them to shine again just as you intended.  They said, “write the letter that so many never wrote”..”speak the words that so many wished they said”…”be the match for the many flames that have been smothered by pain”…so here it is..the words that many never got to say…

For all the times I hurt you, for all the pain I caused you, I say, I’m sorry…and…I love you! Ya see, I was blind, consumed with my own pain, so much so, I was unable to acknowledge yours.  My pain winning over yours meant I was unable to to respond to the many ways your pain screamed at me…I need love too!!! See I surrendered my power..to my pain.  It was just so much easier to lay blame and point the finger at you than to stare that pain in the face and try to get rid of it..  The  voice of fear is loud ya know.  So I gathered my tools, built my walls and planted my feet at the line of battle.  Not giving in this time I said!!   “My tank is empty I said, I’ve been hurt enough, I don’t deserve this, I have nothing left to give, I’ve given my all and it wasn’t enough”etc etc…the soldiers of my ego yell in support of me behind the line of fear! ….But had I?  My soul whispered.  Had I given my all?  Funny how God has to empty that tank to allow us to see what’s at the bottom.  Literally bringing us to our knees to catch a glimpse..  And so one day when we’ve had enough, we’re on our knees begging for a miracle… a tap to a well appears.  A well that never truly runs dry.  A well inside that says I will not live in fear anymore!!!  I will not fear more pain, but rather plant my feet on the side of the line in the sand that says… “faith despite pain”!!  The well that says the truth is that there is always more love inside and that feeling of emptiness is just a reflection of pain.  The well that helps us to put down our weapons, waves the flag and surrenders….to forgive…to forgive…and to forgive again…to love and to love and to love some more…knowing each time we’ve released a bit of our fear and a bit more of our pain only to uncover more LOVE.   Who knew there was more?…my soul.  The well of God’s Grace, Love, and Mercy inside is never really empty… and it tells a much different story…this well says… you are safe, you are held, you are loved and you are love…so live not in fear.  This well says it’s ok to let go and give it to God…you needn’t carry it any longer.  This well says send the letter, speak these words, say I love you while you can still hear a voice reply..”I Love you too”.

Life is a series of opportunities to misunderstand and devalue one another’s pain and underestimate our love for each other.  In this separateness is born and fed.  Unity is found in the realization that we are all just on a search for the same thing on this journey…love, in every sense of the word.  To recognize another’s pain is to recognize our own.  To love is to be loved, to forgive is to be forgiven…to honor another’s experience is to honor ourselves. True Story!!  So today your loved ones in heaven our encouraging you to..take back your power…tap into your well!!!  Send the letter, speak the words…be a reflection of the light inside instead of the darkness.  Be the match to relight a flame that was smothered by pain and fear.  “To err is human, to forgive divine ~Alexander Pope…and to love..well to love is your magnificent power!!!

Have a Happy & Blessed Thanksgiving

xo Jules

 

Did I Find Love Anyway?

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mp,550x550,gloss,transparent,t_3u4The Blessed Mother speaks to us all in times of despair.  She has taught me that one cannot compare his/her despair to that of another.  To each his own.  I like to “think” of myself as a positive person that strives to function at a high vibration in this world, but despite my efforts, I too believe I have felt despair, as have we all.

I remember a time during winter, when I just was feeling really down.  Not over one particular thing in my life, but in general a feeling of sadness and lack of love all around.  I had just ended my lease at my shop and took a leap of faith in trying to take my mediumship to the next level.  I had felt guided to do so by spirit with a knowing that my shop was just a stepping stone that was now stunting my growth and I needed to let it go.  Still, I couldn’t help, but let my ego get the best of me and question my choice.  I realize now that losing my Dad the year prior was an event that had set forth a series of tests for me in motion.   It led me down a road where every ounce of my faith and strength would be challenged and I would learn the true meaning of the word surrender.

I distinctly remember one  cold winter day doing a moving meditation to clear the clutter in my head.  So I’m listening to my music and getting my frustrations out and I feel an overwhelming sense of warmth and love come over me.  Cue the Blessed Mother…kidding aside tho…  I saw a vision of the Blessed Mother with her arms extended outward.  Now I have seen the Blessed Mother many times in my meditations, but this was different.   She was here for me this time, not helping me give a message to someone else.  She tells me I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. Even this moment was part of my divine plan.  My soul knew there would be a time when I would need her to come and remind me why I started this journey.  She said “regrets are not for you in this life dear…but the choice is always yours.  You have all that you need to keep going.”  She tells me the day will come when I will “know” what she means and I will share this story.  As she fades away I hear…”and so it is.”    At that moment the song that comes on my playlist is Celine Dion, “A New Day has Come”!  The very song I did my video to when I started this spiritual journey of mediumship 5 years ago.  I jump off the treadmill and grab a pen and paper…I need to write so I don’t forget and I do!  When I’m done I see a notification on my phone..my timehop is ready…I hit the button…My message from spirit exactly one year ago to that day…”God brings us to our knees to teach us in weakness, strength can be found, In prayer, hope can be reborn, with faith, we can learn to walk again”.  No coincidence!!  I know better now.  “Ok spirit I get it”, I tell them.    With a full heart and my faith restored I know I need to just keep going..each day before I put my feet on the floor I say these words…”I surrender my will to thy will” letting God know the oars to my boat are forever in his hands.

The coming months were full of adjustments in getting used to the changes and new challenges.  My group sizes were bigger which meant I needed to work harder on me.  More meditations, more prayer and silent reflection, keeping my vibration up, maintaining myself as a clear and pure channel for spirit to use in order to serve others.   I change my diet, I begin an exercise regimen, I start going to yoga, spending more time outdoors, less time exposed to social media, television, or anything that lowers my energy vibration.  All of these things guided by spirit.  Still, despite all my efforts it’s an uphill battle.  A time ensues when I felt like relationships with some of the closest people to me were being challenged…why now? My mind (aka my ego) wants to play the blame game and tell me..because the world kicks you when your down..but my heart and soul know better.  There is a lesson in all of this for me even though I don’t see it yet…I keep going.

It wasn’t until this past week I realized I had finally reached that shifting point…I could feel it.  My hard work and perserverence in the direction spirit was leading me was paying off.   My business is busier than ever..I felt grounded, I felt strong, I felt clear and unstuck, I am serving others.  I feel happy and whole..and most importantly I feel loved.  In that time period I learned to love myself and love those around me despite the illusions of lack that were placed in my path.  Spirit introduced me to a new guide in my meditation.  This means they feel as though I am ready to learn more and essentially go to the next level of service.  Cue, “and we’re movin on up”  music from Good Times LOL. This always signifies for me…the end of a phase and the beginning of a new phase.  With heightened emotion and excitement I wait patiently to see what’s coming.

And then it happened…just the other day I’m getting ready and I feel the presence of my guides, my teachers, my “spirit tribe” in heaven, very strongly around me.  Like playing a movie for me they remind me of what I tell my clients in my readings.  When I first came out of the “closet” as a medium, many people were uncertain about it, and probably a little uncertain about my sanity too, LOL.  My husband and my mom, undoubtedly are the two closest people to me.  In 5 years they’ve transformed from “biggest skeptics” to “biggest cheerleaders”  in my life. That is no coincidence.  That was divine… What was God teaching me?  That I would encounter many people on this journey that wouldn’t “believe” in me, but if I could learn to get beyond that with the two closest people to me…then I can learn to get beyond it with anyone and persevere.  He was preparing me.   It was a test to my ego.  Was I truly capable to do his work?

Here I am, five years as a medium and almost a year since my vision of the Blessed Mother.  Another piece of my puzzle falls gently and swiftly into place.  They ask me during times of despair, what is it that we are truly feeling?  I can list all those emotions or I can just say simply at the core of despair is a lack of love, right?  We might not feel love from others, we might not be loving ourselves,  leading us to a feeling of emptiness and powerlessness.  Now here’s the message…that despair is your mountain.  Like the Blessed Mother said…you always have a choice, that is your God given power…free will..powerlessness is a fear based illusion, it’s not real.  And you always have everything you need to keep going…that is your faith, your love, your strength, your hope.  It’s the God light inside of you.  And even though our mountains might be all different heights and terrains…guess what..at the top of that mountain we all find the same thing…LOVE!   At some point that feeling of despair or lack of love is crucial in helping us to truly feel what we are all ultimately searching for…LOVE.   It’s the ultimate test in this life.  Can you pour every ounce of love, blood, sweat and tears you have out into the world , feel like you are receiving nothing in return, and then keep giving love anyway?  Can you feel all the emotion that embodies lack of love…pain, sadness, frustration, irratability, anger, etc….and still forge on to radiate love anyway?   When you do…you’ve made it to the top of that mountain.  You have arrived at the true essence and understanding of what you and everyone else in this world is made from…LOVE, just love!  and you’ve surrendered to it.   Now I know my words are nothing new…we’ve all heard this before..and I believed it, I truly always believed it.  But I didn’t fully understand it until I climbed that mountain myself.   So I share this in knowing you will climb your own mountain to find that LOVE, if you haven’t already.  Perhaps my words will encourage you to keep going thru the despair to get to the top.  Maybe my words will help you to know we are really all in this together…and never alone.   Maybe, just maybe my words will validate your own experiences.   In the wise words of Mother Teresa…”For in the end, you will see it was always between you and GOD, it was never really between you and them anyway”.  So keep going, keep climbing your mountain, keep searching for love and keep giving love anyway!  Because at the end of this life love is the only thing that never truly dies, the only thing that you get to take with you to heaven and the only thing you want to leave behind…May the light of love in me..ignite the light of love in you!   xo Jules

One Monkey Don’t Stop Your Show

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sailboatNow I know none of us are strangers to challenging relationships in life, but have you ever felt like you are grieving the loss of someone who is living?  It is lifechanging, earth shaking, and gut wrenching, right?  Hard to imagine why people are brought into our life if somehow it’s so troublesome.  But what if amidst the gut wrenching torture…came one of the most beautiful epiphanies you’ve ever had?

How many people can think of someone you love who, well, to put it plainly, is a complete pain in your ass?  This could be anyone, from a love interest, to a friend, to a family member.  Now not only do we all have one or more of these “PIA’s”, but we are all one of these for someone else…yup sorry, but true!  Everyone in your circle was placed there for a reason.  Have you ever struggled with certain people not seeing you for who you really are, or constantly doing things that hurt you?  So you exhaust yourself seeking the validation from them to acknowledge the “good person” you know you are by giving more and more of your time, energy, and love, cuz that will fix it right?  Well not necessarily so! Sometimes this can backfire and the more you seek it, the more negative reinforcement you get in return!  Some things are not meant to be fixed, including people.  And sometimes people aren’t in your life for the reasons you think they are,sometimes there’s a lesson in it all.

My life since I’ve chosen to be a medium has been, well let’s just say, very challenging for some of my relationships.   Some of the people closest to me no longer accept me for who I am.   I had to learn to be ok with that.  A battle not just unique to me or to mediums, but one we all fight at some point in our lives,  when we choose to become transparent to the world and to be true to our authentic selves.  So how do we handle it?  Cuz I know we’ve all said this one, “wait, what, who,me? why me? what did I ever do to them”?  Hahah gotcha right?  And so we arrive at a crossroads in our journey…either we stay stuck in that cycle of self doubt seeking outside validation and love from others, or we take the path less traveled.  The one that makes us dig deep and take a good long look at ourselves.  For we are the only person that is ever really in our control to change.  And when we choose to stay “stuck” that lesson will keep coming back until we get it.

It’s in our tendency as humans to want to defend ourselves when we are hurt.  We want to stomp our feet and scream “I’ll show you!!”, right? LOL,  but I’m here to tell you that’s unnecessary.  Lao Tzu actually said, “The best fighter is never angry”!  True story.  The best thing you can do is to LET IT BE, (Just like the song) and keep moving forward.  As you keep moving you will inevitably work thru those human emotions of anger, resentment, sadness, etc, etc. all by yourself and reach that place of acceptance of what is instead of what you want it to be.   When you learn to forgive someone without ever getting an apology, when you learn to accept that everyone doesn’t have to accept you, when you learn to love someone that might not love you back the way you want them to….This is the day your life will take a detour!!!  A detour that takes you off that dead end road of self doubt and onto the road of self love and self acceptance.

Are you seeing the lesson here?  Are you with me?  So sometimes that person that you thought was in your life for one reason, you discover was in your life for another.  That person that put you thru hell…may have just taught you one of the greatest lessons of your lifetime.   One that you probably contracted for in heaven prior to coming here believe it or not!  And when you get back to heaven more than likely you will thank them for helping you to grow as a soul and fulfill your contract here on earth.   They taught you that your happiness and fulfillment of your life’s purpose here is only dependent on one person…YOU!  They taught you to be true to who you are despite what anyone else tells you or how anyone else treats you!  Just last night at a reading I was channeling a woman’s Dad.  I said, “who is Jimmy?”  She responded, “my uncle, who my Dad hated”.  I confirmed Jimmy was in heaven with Dad and immediately knew why he was bringing it up.  He wanted to share that they had made ammends in heaven.  Uncle Jimmy was that PIA that pushed her Dad to the limit and challenged him to dig deep in this physical world.  He came thru to validate that even though they did not have the greatest relationship here, they do in heaven.  The woman then responded why this made sense to her…she just recently became very close with her cousin, Jimmy’s son, and she wondered if her Dad would approve!!

 

My Dad used to have this saying that he would give us whenever we would be complaining about someone in our lives…”One monkey don’t stop the show!” he’d say.  And suddenly I would know it’s ok to move on, cuz Dad said so.   When he died I lost a piece of me.  I lost a piece of my confidence in who I was, I lost my protector, my cheerleader.   But in that loss a new lesson was born.  In spirit my Dad has taught me how to trust myself, believe in myself, and protect myself for a change.  He’s showed me I already have all the tools I need to be who I’m meant to be in this world I just need to trust them.  As I get on my knees each day I now seek that validation from only one place…God’s light inside of me.  The still small voice that reminds, you are enough, you are loved, and you need to keep moving forward.   There is freedom in the acceptance that although some may not choose to walk beside us we will still get to where we are going.  There is freedom in accepting what is instead of what we would like it to be. There is freedom in accepting our authentic selves and where that truth can take us.   God has a plan for us all, and while it may not all be clear right here, right now, we need to trust it’s for our greater good in the long haul.  In the wise words of Dr. Seuss…

“You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”~Dr. Seuss

P.S.  Don’t let any monkeys stop your show!! Lol

xo Jules

 

The Struggle is Real…

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11831659_1625464761004560_2932358260414674641_nYes it is and we all have them..struggles that is!  Funny how the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence doesn’t it?  Human nature no doubt, but one of my favorite quotes I gravitate to when I need a slap of perspective..”the grass is green where you water it”.  I am doing lots of research and work behind the scenes with spirit to tap into my highest potential as a spiritual being having a “human experience”.  Translation…s*** is getting real!  Stuff the word is stuff people, LOL gotcha!  This life is hard and it takes a lotta work to live the life we desire… a  life full of green grass, not to mention joy, peace, love, happiness, and abundance…basically, an overall freedom from the day to day struggles.  So what I’m about to share with you is my epiphany thus far and how you can get yourself on the road to freedom from your biggest struggles, no matter what they are.

Currently I am reading a book called “Spirited” by Rebecca Rosen.. a well known medium in Colorado who you may know from her show on Lifetime Movie Network, “The Last Goodbye”…enter shameless plug here LOL.  Anywho, as a medium myself I receive a lot of my own validation thru other mediums who speak the same truths as spirit has explained them to me.  For this reason I gravitate to Rebecca’s work…no coincidence.  In the book are exercises to help unblock or release any obstacles that are weighing you down in life and preventing you from reaching your true potential.  So I embark on these exercises with no real full understanding of what they will do for me.  Much like principles of NA and AA she encourages us to take a moral inventory of our lives.   So truthfully acknowledge where we are now versus where we want to be.  Now this includes all aspects of life…health, love, relationships, finances, career and overall everyday emotions.   Then in each category we we are not currently where we would like to be we need to get to the root of the “why”.  So much like a weed that is deep seeded in your garden…if you don’t pull it by the root..what happens? …It keeps growing back…Ahhh are ya with me?  So let me give you a little example..So say I want to lose that extra 5 lbs…and its a constant struggle…  So I need to start peeling back the layers of my consciousness like an onion to determine why this is such an issue for me.  So let’s say I find that the times that I eat are when I’m stressed and busy and I make poor food choices over and over.  So the cause is an emotional stress trigger fueled by a feeling I don’t have enough time.  Why don’t I feel like I have enough time?  Well because for years I always raced the clock to fit it all in because God forbid things aren’t perfect.  So why do I need things to be perfect?  Because I am a people pleaser..Why am I a people pleaser?  Are you getting the picture here?  Eventually you start with one struggle that you probably never would’ve connected to the real root of the problem.  Some of our struggles are deeply rooted in our past even past lives sometimes!  Even tho we think we have left it in the past it surfaces in your life in other ways if it remains unresolved.  So in essence you need to continue to peel back the layers to see is there an event or person at the root of your struggles?  Once you are able to get there you can work on the healing process or forgiveness that ultimately stops that karmic cycle of it resurfacing in your life.   A big part of this process is also forgiving yourself.  Yup yourself…it is easy to play the blame game and the victim in life..but the truth is we create our reality by the choices we make everyday.  So how we respond to what we are dealt is actually what fuels these blocks.  While this process can feel a bit uncomfortable to go thru… the end result is amazing.  I actually had a vision of an open road…I truly feel that was spirit’s way of letting me know that I had released many of the obstacles that may have been standing in my way previously.  Whilst I know that new struggles will present themselves as life happens..I also feel a new found hope in my ability to handle them by tapping into my peeps in heaven…and I hope you do too!  This may be the hard part…where we learn and grow as we travel the road…but amidst those growing pains is a scenery full of green grass, joy, peace, love, happiness, and abundance…we just have to see it.  “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but having new eyes”~Marcel Proust

Keep going! I believe in you! xo Jules